Monday, July 1, 2013


In most cultures around the world, the wearing of a one piece polyester suit inspired by members of the animal kingdom is considered creepy, at best. But for white Melburnians, the onesie couldn't be more popular. White Melburnians love talking about onesies and making jokes about onesies. They even like to wear them in public sometimes. Like out to lunch, or at the airport or while doing the grocery shopping. The best part is when you get to make that joke about going to the toilet (it really doesn't get any better than that).

I think the popularity of onesies is a continuation of our vivid childhood imaginations. When you saw a pile of woodchips in the playground and you knew (you just knew!) jumping off it would feel exactly like flying. So at recess you go back for the run up and you time it perfectly, hitting full speed as you reach the top of the pile and then you leap - both feet are briefly off the ground but you land all too quickly and realise it wasn't as exhilarating as you imagined.

The onesie is a reminder that the gulf between imagination and reality remains large into adulthood. The thought of someone wearing a onesie is quite funny. But then you see someone wearing one and it's kind of gross and a bit pathetic. They are hilarious for about 5 minutes. In the time it takes you to get to the shops the joke has worn off. By the time your food arrives at your table when you're having lunch with your Mum (in your onesie) the joke hasn't been funny for about 45 minutes. Onesies manifest the same limitations we experienced in that leap of faith from the top of the woodpile. But they remind us it's still okay to dream big.

1 comment:

  1. I had no idea that onesies were a thing.

    Perhaps it is the inevitable extension of white Melburnians downsizing their material belongings. Having less stuff is surely more indicative of a higher level of enlightenment than the common plebs, the argument goes. Therefore the fewer items of clothing you are wearing at any given time, the better a person you are. Next thing you know they're be embracing 'Naturism' and playing volley-ball in their birthday suits.