Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Seven Seeds

The practice of mounting heads of large animals to the walls of drinking barns has been done in both the American West and southern Africa to convey the wildness of the environment and the mastery of humans over nature. White Melburnians have conquered nature with the fixie, which is why several of them are mounted to the walls of Seven Seeds. You can even park your bike inside. Seven Seeds could not be more Melbourne if you built the entire cafe out of sections of the MCG's Southern Stand. Inside there are communal tables allowing strangers to sit together that would enable lively group discussions in other countries. But at Seven Seeds they are used so white Melburnians can indulge in one of their favourite activities - observing one another in silence.

In Melbourne, cafe owners go to great lengths to make it appear as if their cafes were outfitted by the Salvation Army. Empty metal bookcases with visible signs of rust are highly prized, while menus built into the unsold books from garage sales are considered very sophisticated. At Seven Seeds the lack of a proper ceiling and the use of exposed brick gives the impression the building was constructed out of scrap materials. Thus cafes in Melbourne favour a design style that has historically been used by societies in decline.

Such aesthetics might explain why the coffee at Seven Seeds only comes in one size - small. This would not be out of place in a state-controlled economy like communist Russia where the government considers a large cappuccino to be either a bourgeoisie extravagance or grossly inefficient. But in a flourishing market economy like Australia, where it is believed consumer choice creates competition and thus prosperity, it might seem a little odd. Yet it totally adheres to the theme of imminent societal collapse.


  1. Seven Seeds wants you to think coffee in Melbourne was shit before it came along.

  2. "white Melburnians can indulge in one of their favourite activities - observing one another in silence"

    Great point but a little unfair.. Australians generally respect other people's privacy, so "lively group discussions" at communal tables are quite unlikely :)

  3. The comment above is one of those rare gems where the author actually thought about what they were typing. Thank you for making the internet a smarter place!