Thursday, July 15, 2010

Preston market

The best thing about the Preston Market is that it's in Preston. It doesn't matter that it's just a market and Melbourne is full of those. It's in Preston! While merely acknowledging the existence of the suburb of Preston is your ticket to white Melburnian acceptance, knowing about a market in Preston puts you near the top of the social order amongst Melbourne white people. This is because many white Melburnians are too young to remember the Punters club.

You might be wondering why Preston market is so popular now, given that it's been around since 1970. This is because in 1970 all white Melburnians were at a sausage sizzle.

Melbourne white people know it's absurd to claim they discovered a market that has been around for forty years, yet they absolutely want you to think they did. Listen carefully the next time you hear the Preston market being discussed. Nobody will state outright they discovered it, yet discovery is clearly implied. They imply the shit out of it! Hang around white Melburnians for long enough, and you'll start believing Preston was a terra nullius before they came along.


  1. spot on. I have been going to these markets for years and in the past year i have noticed hipsters or white melbourne people either flock in hordes on the weekend OR feel the need to mention it like it's only been around since they found out about it. Terrible.

  2. We did "discover" the Preston market our first time in Melbourne. But don't we get a pass as we were gringos lost on the way to a restaurant?