Monday, November 30, 2009


With a Southside vibe but geographically located north of the river, Richmond is a white Melburnian paradox. There are two classic white Melburnian venues - the Great Britain Hotel and the Corner Hotel, dispersed amongst several large drinking barns popular with the wrong type of white people. Consequently, the streets of Richmond are littered with the corpses of white Melburnians who have suffered social death.

My advice is to drink lightly, so you maintain the mental fortitude needed to negotiate the minefield. Because when it's dark and you're drunk, it's very easy to end up in one of these places by accident. It's also easy to end up in one of these places deliberately, as the burger and taco place is just so damn tempting!

Just remember that all sins are possibly forgiveable with one exception - the Swan Hotel located on the corner of Swan and Church streets. You know it. It has cover bands playing "Drive" by Incubus and big screen TVs playing football. Go there if you don't want friends.


  1. This is the funniest shit ever!! I live in Collingwood and am about to suffer an identity crisis by moving to East St Kilda. That's right. EAST St Kilda. At least it's the Windsor end.

  2. don't forget der raum near the cnr of swan and church for the white people who are more equal than anyone else ;)